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EP28｜成人友誼（下）：點解成人難識新朋友？(Why Making New Friends As Adults Feels So Hard)

• 亂噏24 • Season 1 • Episode 28

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0:00 | 11:43

大個之後，想識新朋友似乎比細個難好多：時間少咗、生活圈細咗，大家又有自己嘅節奏同身份，要重新建立信任唔再係一件咁自然嘅事。成年人識朋友，往往唔係「一齊就得」，而係要慢慢磨合、慢慢靠近。

呢一集，你會聽到：

  • 點解成人識新朋友會覺得咁難。
  • 生活節奏、工作壓力同身份轉變，點樣令識朋友變得更慢。
  • 我哋各自對「識新朋友」嘅睇法同感受。

呢一集，就係屬於成人友誼嘅另一面。
Hit play，一齊諗下：大個之後，交朋友對你嚟講係機會，定係挑戰？

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Why does making new friends feel so much harder once we grow up? With less time, smaller social circles, and more defined roles and routines, building trust no longer happens naturally. Adult friendship is rarely about “just hanging out”; it’s about slowly getting comfortable with each other.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • Why making new friends feels so difficult as an adult.
  • How busy schedules, work pressure, and changing identities make friendship-building slower.
  • Our own thoughts and feelings about meeting new people as adults.

This episode is the other side of adult friendship.
Hit play and think about this: as an adult, is making new friends an opportunity, or a challenge?

Youtube: www.youtube.com/@lyungap24

Instagram: cantonese.lyungap_24


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喂 你ok未呀 Hey, are you okay yet?

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Can呀 Can Hello 大家好呀 Hello, everyone.

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我哋係《亂噏24》 We're lyungap24.

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我係Can I'm Can.

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我係OK I'm OK.

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我哋上一集 定上一兩集 In our last episode, or the one before that,

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上一兩集 the last one or two episodes,

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講咗好耐啦 we talked for a long time.

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就講咗好多關於呢個 We talked a lot about this

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成年後嘅友誼啦 adult friendship.

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包括係第一集我哋比較咗可能 In the first episode, we compared maybe

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同我哋細個嘅友誼有咩分別 how it's different from the friendships we had when we were kids.

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然後上一集呢 And in the last episode,

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亦都分享咗我哋點樣去維繫 we also shared how we maintain

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或者以前識落嘅朋友嘅友誼啦 or the friendships you made long ago

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咁今集可能我哋就講多少少 So this episode, maybe we'll talk a bit more

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我哋點樣識新朋友 about how we make new friends

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因為好多人都話 Because a lot of people say

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成年之後識朋友係好難㗎喎 it's really hard to make friends as an adult

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你同唔同意呀 Do you agree? 係真係好難 It really is hard

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係因為冇乜機會 It's because there aren't many chances

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係 Yeah

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因為平時都係返工 放工咁樣 Because most of the time, it's just work and then off work

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跟住返工嘅時候又真係做嘢㗎嘛 And when you're at work, you're really working

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又或者未必係真係同你啲同事有咁多交流 Or maybe you don't even interact that much with your coworkers

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所以同事可能就真係同事 So coworkers may just be coworkers

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就未必係可以發展成為朋友 and may not end up becoming friends

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咁除咗返工放工就冇乜機會 So besides work and leaving work, there's not much chance 係呀 Yeah

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遇到新嘅人 to meet new people

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我係有諗過其實 I've actually thought about it

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曾經未返工之前係有諗過呢 Before I started working, I had thought

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同事都可以係朋友㗎嘛 coworkers could also be friends

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哇 好美好 Wow, that sounds so ideal

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係呀 原來返咗工之後發現 Yeah, but after I started working, I realized

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同事都係同事 coworkers are just coworkers

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係 真係 Yeah, really

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真係 Really

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我唔排除有呢個成為朋友嘅機會嘅 I wouldn't rule out becoming friends

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但係可能難啲囉 but it might be harder

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係可以嘅 但係要十分之一嘅機會囉 It's possible, but maybe it's only a one-in-ten chance

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係囉 個機率已經好細啦 Exactly, the odds are already really low

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仲要係有時返工嘅時候可能 And sometimes, when you're at work,

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有啲公事上面嘅交流 there are just some work-related interactions,

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就儘量唔想夾雜咁多私人感情 and you try not to mix in too many personal feelings,

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所以可能真係要辭咗職之後 so maybe you really have to quit first

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先真係可以變成朋友都唔頂 before you can actually become friends.

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所以我就覺得返工係好難識新朋友嘅 That's why I think it's hard to make new friends at work.

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我覺得都識到嘅 I do think it's possible to meet someone,

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但係可能需要少少時機 but maybe it takes the right timing.

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因為好似我返緊嘅嗰份工呢 Because at the job I'm at now,

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唔係個個同事都有交流囉 not every coworker really interacts with me.

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我好似係一個自己嘅獨立部門咁樣 It feels like I'm in my own separate department,

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咁就都唔使同人交流 so there's no real need to mingle,

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就做唔到好朋友囉 and then it's hard to become close friends.

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係囉 唔夠好似以前咁 Yeah, it's just not the same as before.

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需要啲契機嘅做朋友 You need a bit of a chance to become friends.

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真係真係 Really, really.

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同埋當然都仲有一樣好重要嘅嘢就係 And of course, there's another very important thing too,

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究竟同呢個人夾唔夾呢 whether you and that person actually click.

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你係點樣feel到呀 How do you feel that?

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或者你有冇啲咩準則 Or do you have any criteria,

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有冇啲咩條件係令你覺得 any conditions that make you think

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呢個人同我應該做到朋友喇 this person could be a friend to me,

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或者呢個人做唔到朋友喇 or this person wouldn't work as a friend?

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有冇嘅呢 Do you? 其實我覺得呢有啲朋友呢係有分兩種嘅 Actually, I think there are two kinds of friends,

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同拍拖一樣 just like dating.

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有一種呢就係 一見如故 There's one kind, and that's instant rapport.

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一望到 哇 傾咗十分鐘已經好似 The moment you meet, wow, after ten minutes it already feels like 識咗成年嘅老朋友咁樣 you've been old friends for years.

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之後有啲可能日久生情嘅 Then there are others that develop over time.

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傾下傾下可能某一個位 While talking, at some point,

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大家都係鐘意呢一樣嘢 you both like the same thing,

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之後再傾下傾下就做朋友 and after talking more, you become friends.

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係囉 或者又經歷咗啲嘢相處多咗 Right, or maybe after going through things together and spending more time together,

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係 有啲回憶啦咁就熟咗 yeah, after making some memories, you get familiar,

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就可以做到朋友 and then you can be friends.

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我覺得我自己可能而家成年後 I think that now that I'm an adult,

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可能真係冇咁多時間畀我日久生情 I may not really have that much time to let friendship grow over time.

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所以我覺得如果我真係要當呢個人係我新朋友啦 So I think if I'm really going to treat someone as a new friend,

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我要一見如故嘅人囉 I need someone I click with right away.

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即係啱feel就啱feel 啱就啱 If we vibe, we vibe. If it works, it works.

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啱傾就可以做朋友喇 If we can talk easily, we can be friends.

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唔啱傾呢就做唔到朋友囉 If not, then we can't be friends.

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就可能最多同事 At most, we'd just be coworkers.

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即係普通傾下啲無謂嘅嘢 Just making small talk about random stuff.

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係啦 就好似我自己之前返有一份工 Yeah, it's like when I used to work a certain job,

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就係其實唔係返咗好耐 I hadn't been there very long,

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但係已經感覺到可能有一兩個人傾嗰啲話題 but I could already tell there were one or two people I could talk to about

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係特別啱傾嘅 those topics really easily.

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因為我好鐘意傾啲哲學呀 價值觀呀 Because I really like talking about philosophy and values,

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人生大道理 冇錯 life lessons, exactly.

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咁啱 咦 佢又有諗法喎 Yeah, then I'm like, oh, they've got ideas too.

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跟住就開始覺得應該做到朋友啦咁樣 Then I start thinking we should probably be friends.

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咁你有冇呢 你係偏向邊一邊 So what about you? Which side do you lean toward?

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或者你有冇啲咩經歷呀 Or do you have any experiences like that?

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其實就應該係兩邊都有 I think it's probably both.

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不過呢一開頭呢 But at the start,

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我又唔係好同人傾人生大道理 I'm not really the type to talk about life's big truths with people.

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通常都係興趣入手先嘅 I usually start with shared interests.

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哦 都係嘅 Oh, that's true.

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之後傾下傾下如果啱feel先至 Then if we keep talking and it clicks,

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可能就要到某一啲時間開始熟 maybe it takes some time to get familiar,

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先至再傾下深入嘅嘢 and then we'll start talking about deeper stuff.

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不過我覺得呢 But I think

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如果佢有某啲嘢就可能會特別吸引我 If they have certain qualities, I might find them especially attractive.

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就係佢鐘意啲...試下新嘢嘅人呀 It's someone who likes trying new things.

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嘗試唔同嘢 Trying different things.

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即係佢有好多唔同嘅人生嘅啲閲歷呀 Like, they've had lots of different life experiences.

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咁樣我就覺得 哇 好新奇喎 Then I'd think, wow, that's so interesting.

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好想同佢傾偈 好想問多啲佢嘅嘢 I'd really want to talk to them and ask them more about themselves.

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係呀係呀 Yeah, yeah.

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有故事嘅人 係咪 Someone with stories, right?

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係呀係呀 你有冇呢一種感覺呀 Yeah, yeah. Do you feel that way too?

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邊一種嘅人係會令到你 What kind of person makes you

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想同佢再傾多啲傾多啲咁樣 want to keep talking to them more and more?

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係囉 可能都係呢類 Yeah, probably that kind.

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即係或者係樂觀少少呀 Or maybe someone more optimistic.

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即係鐘意笑呀 Like someone who likes to laugh.

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一嚟就會同你傾好多 Right away, they'll talk to you a lot.

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或者同你分享好多佢生活上面一啲嘢 Or they'll share a lot about their life with you.

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即係例如 去咗邊度旅行呀 Like where they traveled to,

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或者我遇到啲乜嘢呀 or what happened to me,

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好想同你分享好多你未聽過嘅嘢 they really want to tell you things you haven't heard before.

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令你覺得 啊 呢個人係對生活好有熱情㗎喎 It makes you feel, wow, this person is really passionate about life.

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即係唔係嗰種 I mean, not the kind of...

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啊 我返到去好累呀 Ah, I'm so tired when I get home.

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即係好多埋怨嗰啲呢 You know, all that complaining.

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咁我就會覺得好似好無癮囉 Then I'd feel like, that's no fun.

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傾偈就好似聽佢埋怨咁樣 Talking to them feels like listening to complaints.

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係呀 即係嗰啲呢 成日係嗰啲 Yeah, the kind who are always like that.

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又唔知 IG 見到 And then you see it on Instagram, too.

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即係要遠離啲有毒嘅人 So you have to stay away from toxic people.

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即係一嚟就喺度放負 Like, they come in right away with negativity.

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其實當你係嗰啲情緒垃圾桶 Basically, they treat you like an emotional trash can.

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係喇 嗰啲我就通常我都唔會 Yeah, people like that, I usually don't.

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其實我覺得真係負面嘅情緒係會影響到 I really think negative emotions do affect people.

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會畀人會傳染嘅 It's contagious.

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係呀係呀係呀 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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所以如果身邊係有啲呢 So if there are people around you who

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互相支持下 support each other,

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哇 我覺得你得㗎 Wow, I think you can do it.

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得㗎 行啦 可以㗎 You can do it. Go for it. You got this.

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可以㗎 You got this.

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係會即刻令到我 That instantly makes me

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OK喎 Oh, nice.

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想同佢傾多啲計 want to talk to them more.

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即係受到鼓舞喎 It's encouraging.

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係呀 真係呢個好緊要 Yeah, that really matters.

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就係尋求返可能 So you're looking for maybe... 呢

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個人好似令佢 this person seems to make them...

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即係同佢傾完計之後 After talking to them,

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好似即刻諗通咗啲嘢 it feels like things just click.

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或者又會覺得 Or you'd feel like

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好似成個人都開心咗 you just feel happier.

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咁我就會鐘意同呢啲人相處 So I'd like being around people like that.

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應該都似喎 Probably.

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我覺得以前我好似係 I think I used to be like that.

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唔知係咪因為受到屋企影響呢 I wonder if it was because of my family.

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係有啲唔係話 It's not that...

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行啦 行啦 唔係呢一種嘅 "Gogogo!" not that kind.

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可能係負面啲 Maybe more negative.

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即係有啲猶豫 I mean, you'd be a bit hesitant.

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究竟自己得唔得呢 You'd wonder whether you could really do it.

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即係如果當時嘅朋友都係話 If your friends back then had been like,

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唉 算啦 咪搞咁多嘢 Forget it, don't do that.

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就即刻係 you'd immediately be like,

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唉 算啦 咁我都唔諗啦 Forget it, then I won't think about it either.

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但係如果即係而家啲朋友 But if it were my friends now,

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會話 they'd say,

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唉 得啦 得啦 Come on, you can do it.

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試下啦 Give it a try.

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試下啦 Give it a try.

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就即刻係 then I'd just,

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嗯 Mm-hmm.

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即係如果果陣我打擊咗你呢 If I had discouraged you back then, 係呀 係呀 Yeah, yeah.

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呢個Channel就冇㗎啦 Then that's it for this channel.

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拜拜啦 Bye-bye.

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係啦 我都唔會揾你㗎啦應該 Yeah, then I probably wouldn't reach out to you anymore.

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所以而家就要 So now we need to keep

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住下呢個正面積極嘅... keep this positive, upbeat...

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冇錯 Exactly.

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呢個都係我哋點解會一齊 This is also why we ended up

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玩嘅原因 playing together.

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可能就係我哋都會 Maybe it's because we both

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對大家嘅一啲好新奇嘅諗法 have really fresh ideas about each other,

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都係 right.

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喂 試咗先囉 Hey, let's just try it first.

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試下先囉 Try it first.

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又一齊玩呀 And then play together.

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即係加入埋我呢個諗法 Like, you just join in on my idea.

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所以我就覺得 So I just thought,

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喂 OK 喎 Hey, that works.

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你影響我 我又影響你㗎嘛 You influence me, and I influence you.

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係囉 Exactly.

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其實講真啦 Honestly,

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我之所以會 the reason I

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對呢啲咁積極呀 became so into this positive stuff,

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健康呀 health,

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心靈呀 mindfulness,

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或者呢啲嘢有研究都係因為你呀 or researching this kind of thing, is because of you.

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我好似講過好多次 I think I've said this many times,

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但係我覺得我係因為你 but I feel like it's because of you.

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係咩 Really?

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即係嗰陣時我第一次聽到啲咩 Back then, the first thing I heard was,

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吸引力法則呀 the law of attraction.

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嗰啲嘢都係你講 Those were things you brought up.

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雖然你嗰陣時可能 Even if at the time you maybe

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冇乜為意 didn't really notice it,

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其實我冇乜為意 I actually didn't pay much attention.

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我係提出嚟囉 I was the one who brought it up.

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可能嗰陣時我又 Maybe back then I also

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啱啱開始接觸下 had just started to get into it a bit,

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但係我真係接觸咗個名囉 but I really only knew the name.

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結果係你研究 So in the end, you were the one who studied it. 係喇 Yeah.

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然後你研究完之後 And after you studied it,

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我又反而又受到你影響 I ended up being influenced by you too.

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咁積極嘅影響 Such a positive influence.

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之後就 Then after that,

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所以我覺得我互相囉 So I think it's mutual.

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互相影響 You influence each other.

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就係一個好嘅循環 That's a really good cycle.

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咪好嘅朋友 This is what we called good friend

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係囉 Yeah.

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又真係喎 Yeah, that's true.

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好似有時我有啲咩問題 Like sometimes, if I have some problem

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或者有咩 or anything

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諗唔通呢 that I can't figure out,

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我就會好想問你 I really want to ask you,

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因為呢 because

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我硬係覺得呢 I always feel

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我嘅諗法係侷限喺 that my thinking is limited to

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我自己個思想度 my own mind,

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跟住你一定會有啲好 and then you'll definitely have some good

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新奇嘅一啲諗法係 some fresh ideas

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聽完之後 After hearing it,

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原來可以咁樣諗㗎喎 Oh, so that's another way to think about it.

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原來可以咁樣做㗎喎 Oh, so that's another way to do it.

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又幾積極㗎喎 That's pretty positive, too.

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原來可以咁樣諗 Oh, so that's another way to think about it.

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可以咁樣睇一個世界 You can look at the world that way.

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可以用一個咁 You can use such a

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輕鬆咁簡單嘅視角去睇世界 relaxed, simple perspective to see the world.

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我覺得如果呢 I feel like, if

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佢係個樣呢 their face

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一嚟呢就好有親和力嗰啲呢 has a really approachable vibe from the start,

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就即刻會想 I'd immediately want to

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同佢做朋友 be friends with them.

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即係成日笑嗰啲囉都係 I mean, people who smile a lot, too.

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你覺得我算唔算 Do you think I count as

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好有親和力呀個樣 having a really friendly face? XDD XDD

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但如果你一開頭 But if at first

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你係唔會成日笑㗎嘛 you're not someone who smiles a lot,

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你唔笑嘅話好似都係比較 if you don't smile, you seem kind of

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嚴肅啲 serious.

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我可能真係睇 I might really judge it

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睇場合囉 depending on the situation.

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我覺得我對你嘅印象 I think my impression of you

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唔係親和力嘅 isn't that you're friendly. 好多人都話我好有親和力㗎 A lot of people say I'm really friendly.

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係咩 真係咩 Really? For real?

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我真係有比人話我好有親和力㗎 People really have told me I'm very friendly.

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你都係嘅 You are too.

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因為你每一次見到你都係笑到四萬咁口 Because every time I see you, you're grinning from ear to ear.

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我呢明明冇笑呢 But I wasn't even smiling.

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但係佢話你隻眼明明 But they said, look at your eyes.

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縮到咁細 They're narrowed into tiny slits.

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我話我冇笑呀 I said I'm not smiling.

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但佢都話我笑緊囉 But they still said I was smiling.

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親和力都好重要 Being approachable is important too.

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但係你就算戴口罩 But even when you wear a mask,

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大家都覺得你好有親和力 people still think you're really approachable.

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係囉我戴口罩就剩係得返隻眼 Yeah, when I wear a mask, only my eyes are left.

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都覺得我好笑 They still think I look funny.

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可能細個嘅時候會有親和力少少 Maybe when I am young, you're a bit more approachable.

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細個 When you're young.

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大個呢你受到呢個社會嘅影響 As you get older, the influence of society

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你就會覺得唔得 makes you feel like that's not okay.

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太過淋 或者太過好似好人呢 Too soft, or too much of a nice guy.

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個樣呢 The look, you know,

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好容易就比人恰㗎啦 you can get pushed around really easily.

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咁所以就要戴返個 So you have to put on a bit of,

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武裝咁樣 armor, like that.

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即係要比人知道 喂 That is, you need to let people know, hey,

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呢個人唔容易恰㗎 this person isn't easy to bully.

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唔好隨便恰我呀吓 Don't just pick on me, okay?

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咁樣嘅感覺 That kind of vibe. 都係喎 Yeah, true.

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咁所以而家就儘量 So now I try my best

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儘量唔表露我嘅 not to show my

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真實面貌 true self.

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除非我覺得你 Unless I feel you

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ok喇 are okay.

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但係你笑嗰陣都係友善 But when you smile, you're still friendly.

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唔笑嗰陣係 When you're not smiling, em...

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嚴肅認真啲 um...you're more serious and focused.

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係喇認真啦 Right, serious.

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安靜啦 Quiet.

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真係但其實可能熟咗之後 Yeah, but actually maybe once you get to know someone,

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就發現好多嘢講 you find you have a lot to talk about.

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一笑就發覺 As soon as you smile, you realize,

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都ok啦都幾好人嘅 oh, they're okay, actually, pretty nice.

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傻嘅 原來係 Oh, so that's what they're like. 好啦 咁我哋頭先就講咗好多 Okay, so earlier we talked a lot

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我哋識新朋友嘅睇法啦 about how we see making new friends.

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即係可能我哋到底 Like, maybe what kind of person

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見到點樣嘅人會比佢 would catch our eye

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吸引到想同佢做朋友呀 and make us want to be friends with them.

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之類嗰啲 and stuff like that

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咁呢我哋就 So then, we

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就去到第三集喇 have reached episode three.

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終於要介紹一下 Finally, we need to introduce

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今日要教啲咩字呢 what phrase we're teaching today.

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就係我頭先講咗一句 It's the line I just said,

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形容ok嘅 the one that describes something about OK.

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四萬咁口 Sei4 maan6 gam2 hau2

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都算係一個俗語嚟嘅 It's basically a slang expression.

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咁「四萬咁口」嘅意思呢 What does "forty thousand mouths" mean?

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就係代表成日都 It means someone is always

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露齒笑開懷大笑 showing their teeth in a big, hearty laugh,

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笑得好開心 laughing really happily.

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而點解係四萬呢 And why “four ten-thousands”?

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就係因為唔知大家有冇 It's because, I don't know if everyone has

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打過麻雀啦 Played mahjong, right?

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係囉 你應該成日都 Yeah, you probably do all the time.

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會唔會係我打得多麻雀先至咁呢 Could it be because I play mahjong a lot?

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係囉 都可能係打得多麻雀 Yeah, that could be it too — playing a lot of mahjong.

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麻雀呢有嗰啲 In mahjong, there are those...

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唔同嘅數字幾萬一萬二萬 different numbers, like

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一萬, 二萬... 而四萬個四呢 And the 四 in “四萬”...

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就係個四字 is the character for four. 中文漢語嘅寫法呢就係 In written Chinese, it looks like...

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有個口裏面有兩撇 a mouth with two strokes inside.

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好似棚牙咁樣 It looks like a row of teeth.

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咁所以就形容 So that's why it describes...

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人好似嗰個四萬個「四」字咁 someone's smile looking like the character for 四 in “四萬”...

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露出佢嘅 showing their... 牙齒 teeth.

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好燦爛咁樣笑喇 Laughing really brightly.

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咁形容 That's the way to describe it.

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喂 你做咩笑到四萬咁口呀 Hey, why are you grinning like that?

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或者 哇 Or, wow.

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佢中咗六合彩 Maybe they won the lottery.

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笑到四萬咁口喎咁樣 Grinning from ear to ear like that.

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即係就係好似個四字咁 It means, like the character for four.

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笑得好燦爛 Smiling so brightly.

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就好似我哋OK咁 Just like OK

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無時無刻都四萬咁口 Always grinning from ear to ear.

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你都係 You too.

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係 多謝 Yeah, thank you.

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好啦 咁如果你 All right, if you

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有朋友都係咁鐘意笑 have friends who also love to laugh,

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笑到四萬咁口 laughing from ear to ear.

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或者你有其他識新朋友嘅經歷啦 Or if you have other experiences of making new friends,

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都可以同我哋分享下 feel free to share them with us.

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希望你聽到呢個Podcast We hope that when you listen to this podcast,

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都可以笑到四萬咁口 you can smile as brightly as that too. 係囉 Exactly. 幾好喎呢個寓意 That's a nice meaning.

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好啦咁我哋下次再見啦 All right, see you next time. 拜拜 Bye-bye.